Picking up chicks might seem intimidating, but with a little know-how and some totally realistic, not at all ridiculous tips from the Paunch, the Official Fat Panda, you'll be surrounded by women before you can say "grossly underpaid copywriter masquerading as a cartoon animal."
Disclaimer: Take advice from cartoon pandas at your own risk. If you want advice from an actual dating expert, scroll down to the bottom of this post.
Second disclaimer: Paunch is fairly compensated for his work on this blog. Animal rights activists, rest easy.