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It's Finally Fat Guy Fall!

It's Fat Guy Fall! If you came to this post looking for videos of big guys falling down, you're in the wrong place.


You might want to check YouTube.

Paunch Panda - Big Boy Bamboo's Official Fat Panda and Cartoon Mascot

By Paunch Panda


We're talking about the season when temperatures finally drop to something reasonable and our women have the inexplicable urge to drink pumpkin-flavored coffee.

It's Finally Fat Guy Fall!

You know, Fall. Autumn.


Also known as - the best time of the year.


Fat Guy Fall is sort of an unofficial (ahem...made up) holiday that happens somewhere around the beginning of October, because the panda who invented it lives in Las Vegas where the entirety of September passes in the 90-100 degree Fahrenheit range.


For those of you who live in areas with slightly less infernal climates, you can celebrate Fat Guy Fall whenever fall actually happens in your area.

How To Celebrate Fat Guy Fall

The rest of the world might not know about Fat Guy Fall yet, but soon, they will.


At least, they will if you tell them.


As a fat guy and a cartoon panda, I'm a big fan of Fat Guy Fall celebrations.


They're the perfect way to ease out of "get your body swimsuit ready" season and into "buy stretchy pants because Halloween candy and pumpkin pie are everywhere" season.


Consider this your official invitation to participate in Fat Guy Fall festivities!

Step 1: Buy yourself a gift.

Step 1: Buy yourself a gift

Congratulate yourself on surviving yet another summer by getting yourself something you like. My totally biased, yet eminently informed opinion is that you should get a new tee-shirt, but of course, you can pick anything you want. Though, I have it on good authority that new colors are coming very soon. Just saying. 


This is the perfect time for you to buy yourself a present: stores are gearing up for seasonal sales, and they want their shelf space for tree ornaments and tinsel.


That means that lots of cool stuff is on sale, but it's early enough in the season that nobody really expects you to be shopping for other people yet.


Bonus: You actually get something that you want, and you don't have to pretend to appreciate it.


Plus, Oprah (probably) said that loving yourself is important, and the giving of gifts is an act of love.


That means it's good for your self-esteem. Go ahead. Get yourself something nice.

Step 2: Have a feast

The modern Fat Guy Fall Feast

Step 2: Have a feast

During the Fat Guy Fall Feast, sharing is optional.


Fall is a time of harvest, and most cultures have some sort of celebration feast to mark the occasion and revel in the abundance of delicious food.


Of course, now that we're in a developed country, most of us only know there's been a harvest when pumpkin patches start popping up in parking lots.


If you're feasting for 1, we recommend reviewing our buffet strategies before you go.


And if you're feeling really festive: 'Tis the season for competitive eating!


Enter a pie-eating contest, challenge a friend to see who can fit more marshmallows in their mouth, or take on one of those giant food challenges at a restaurant near you.


Here are some of the challenges in Vegas, in case you were wondering.

Step 3: Visit a barber

Step 3: Visit a barber

Hey, guys can get makeovers, too.


Most of us haven't updated our look since high school, and despite the fact that we're still total beasts, we could probably stand to get with the times.


Plus, a trip to the barber is actually a really pleasant experience.


It's like a spa day, except not.


Look: There's nothing wrong with a spa day, but have you ever considered the manly version?


Get a real, actual barber to give you a real, actual, professional shave.


He'll show you how to groom your facial hair for maximum masculinity, help you choose a new hairstyle (which you'll probably stick with for the next 20 years) that makes your face look even more handsome, and he might even drop some manly wisdom while you're there.


Don't worry if you have exactly no sense of style, either.


My friends at the Art of Manliness - I wish they were my friends, anyway - put together this video to help you work on your barber communication skills.

Go on a hot date

Why dance like Jagger when you can dance like John Lindo.

Step 4: Go on a hot date

Now, you look a little extra dapper.


You're fluffed up from your Fat Guy Fall Feast.


And you're feeling the self love...


It's time to turn on the charm and get yourself some un-self love.


Other person love.


Whatever you call it.


Go on a date.


Maybe you're already married - I think your wife would probably appreciate a date night just as much as you do.


If you're single...try Tinder or something maybe?


I'm not actually good at this. You could always try one of my favorite pickup lines...if you're feeling brave, and probably wearing a cup.

Take a nap right in the middle of the day

Step 5: Take a nap right in the middle of the day

This is the time of year when smart animals eat a lot of food, build up some extra chub, and then sleep it all off.


There's a lot of wisdom in that.


Every day, you power through because you've got a job and a life and stuff, but it's Fat Guy Fall!


You deserve a mini hibernation.


Use your lunch break for a nap and eat at your desk, or take an extended nap on Saturday afternoon when nobody is around to interrupt you.


It's your season.


You should live your life the way it was meant to be lived - chubby, snoring, and slightly covered in Cheeto dust.

Now that you know what to do for Fat Guy Fall, why don't you put on some of our soft and comfortable bamboo t-shirts:

Crew Neck T-Shirts

Crew Neck T-Shirts

You could call this style “timeless,” but in reality, this is the soft, comfortable bamboo t shirt we grab when we don’t want to waste time thinking about the latest fashion nonsense.

YOU WANT THIS!
Pocket Crew Neck T-Shirts

Pocket Crew Neck T-Shirts

The familiar crew neck says “I have more important things to do than quibble over the latest ridiculous fashion trends,” and the pocket says “I’m professional enough that I might have to carry a pen one day.”

GO BABY GO!
V-Neck T-Shirts

V-Neck T-Shirts

A Big Boy Bamboo V-Neck Bamboo T-Shirt is ideal for wearing under dress shirts since they effectively hide some of your jiggle without being too hot to qualify as an undershirt.

COME GET SOME!

Bamboo-Based Fiber Makes the Softest Men’s T-Shirts

Our bamboo t shirts for men are made for big guys

Our bamboo t shirts for men are made for big guys, and the choice to use viscose from bamboo is no coincidence. Bamboo viscose is perfect for big boys! Here’s why bamboo is the perfect choice for big size t-shirts.


  • Men's Crew Neck Bamboo T-Shirts
  • Men's V-Neck Bamboo T-Shirts
  • Men's Pocket Crew Neck Bamboo T-Shirts
  • Comfortable XL Bamboo Face Masks for Beards and Big Faces

Who Is Big Boy Bamboo?

Tall Sizes in 1XLT-4XLT

We're an eco-friendly, down-to-earth bamboo clothing brand for Big and Tall men – specifically Big Guys who wear 3XL-8XL and Tall Guys who wear 1XLT-4XLT.

We carry soft, comfortable bamboo t-shirts that help you look great, fit you comfortably, and keep you cool all day long. We’re your new favorite big & tall men's clothing brand. Check out our king-size clothing.

SHOP OUR STORE
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© 2016-2022, Big Boy Bamboo (Smart Bamboo Technologies, Inc.), Las Vegas, NV. Somebody get Paunch a chili dog!

Paunch Panda

October 03, 2016